When DIY is dangerous

As you all know I love watching something, then doing it myself. That's how I learned to decorate cakes, swaddle a baby, paint, and many other useful things.

But every so often I get this "genius" idea. Why not remove this cyst myself? I have a completely harmless cyst on my head and it periodically annoys me. I can't cut my hair short because I'm worried it'll be noticeable.

No, I'm not sleep deprived. I'm just too lazy to go to the doc, get a referral for a doc that can remove it, set up a removal date with specialist. See? Too many steps. This us why YouTube is dangerous.
I just wish I had a friend doctor who would do this for me. It's a quick procedure you don't even need to numb for. Lance, squeeze out the yellow jellybean, maybe one stitch, done! I begged my nurse cousin and no dice.

Luckily, there is a little sensible Travis in the back of my head rambling on about infections and the limited scope of neosporin and what if I can't stop the bleeding, blah blah.

I don't know why this is a blog post. I just wanted to tell someone other than my mom. My mom thinks it might be cancer.

Sincerely
-Heather

The Status

I think of a lot of interesting things, and boring stuff, I'd like to make my Facebook status. Then, I end up making a status that has to do with baby. Not a bad thing, I just have things to say. Get off my chest in a sense.

Some 90's music never gets old. For example; Sugar Ray's I just wanna fly, Duncan Sheik's Barely Breathing, and anything by Third Eye Blind. I hope you listen to one nineties song today. I also hope that semicolon was used properly.

I've never wanted to work my abs as badly as I want to now that my belly isn't flat. I know, poor skinny Heather that you feel no pity for. If you were me your whole life you wouldn't settle for less than super petite either.

Wreck-it Ralph made me cry. Not to spoil anything, but when he smashes a certain thing and makes a character cry I got teary eyed. And it has such a feel good ending I was just weeping tears muttering that was beautiful to myself. It also made me want my world to be candy. Realistically it'd be annoying and sticky.

Brielle is called everything but Brielle. Mostly I call her Bri and honey. She is also honey-bunny, honey bunches, this baby, bumble Bri, bug jr, and little miss. I'm certain there are more, but I can't recall most of them because I typically address her by whatever comes to mind.

Ta-da!
-Heather

Motherhood

I knew the trials of pregnancy would be worth it, but I really didn't know it would be so wonderful. My heart if so full. I haven't felt this fulfilled since I realized not only was I marrying the man of my dreams, but I'd have him for eternity.

It is difficult to be selfish right now. The moments I think about how I want more sleep, my head hurts, or the ways my body aches disappear the instant I see that beautiful baby girl. Nothing else matters except her needs, her comfort, her happiness. There is so much joy in thinking about someone other than yourself.

At this point I can't fathom living a life without this joy. I am so grateful we took this leap, and that I have such a wonderful supportive husband. I'm grateful to provide an emotionally stable home full of love and peace.

For those of you I may or may not know that say you'll never have kids, I hope you seriously reconsider. This is the best thing that could possibly have happened to me.

To my darling Brielle, I only hope I can be as much a blessing to you as you are to me.

-Heather Rand

The Most Wonderful Experience

As you may know last night at 8:38pm I gave birth to a healthy little girl. I figured a few of you might want to read about it. If not, I want to write about it while my memory is fresh.

It all started at five in the morning. I called the hospital for my scheduled induction because I was beyond anxious to meet her, I want my mother to spend plenty of time with her first granddaughter, and I was scared she'd get too big and crush vital organs. That's what it felt like at least.

I was an experience for two UNC students, and everyone forgot to mention I should eat breakfast. Naturally my blood sugar was super low and according the southern bell, sweetheart nurse, Sandy, I swooned. I almost passed out, but I like swoon better. After they gave me some sugar water in an iv I was back to myself, and the pitocin was coming.

After not feeling the pitocin or contractions until three, mind you we showed up at seven thirty, my water was broken. I tried to make a joke and ended up laugh crying while saying I didn't mean it like that. I'm gonna get graphic, it was at least two pounds of fluid. Gush.

My cool Dr. Slack said lucky women feel something in fifteen minutes. Apparently I'm an over achiever. Talk about instant gratification...or worst pain ever within five minutes. After only a few contractions I asked if it was wimpy or too early to ask for the epidural. Honestly, I'm proud of my pain tolerance and patience. Renee was busy chatting my doctor up when I demanded to know if the anesthesiologist had been paged. Meanwhile, my nurse wad explaining more technical stuff to her two students and Travis' hand was in high demand. A contraction started while he was texting and I told him to tell everyone to leave him alone. I found gripping his hand helped me through the pain, and I could focus on not crushing his fingers.

The epidural experience itself wasn't bad. It was the crick in my neck and her sweet, but not cool, sense of humor. She joked it would take an hour and a half to put in. Not a cool joke. Sadly, it took an hour and a half for us to realize the first medication doesn't work on me. Let me include that if every woman feels that way in labor, I commend every one that opts out of the epidural. The doctor had told me I'd be lucky to deliver by eleven that night.

I also want to include one of my best friends said it helps with the pain to think about what your husband is going through. He doesn't like to see me in pain. It did help quite a bit to be a considerate hostess.
Once the epidural magic worked, my pain was manageable. I also forgot I could push a button and get more relief. Don't ask me how stupid I felt after suffering through a few, because they get worse as labor progresses, but I ask good questions. For example, how much extra will I get when I push this button? And, how often will it dish out? Because of course they limit that stuff.

Around six thirty Renee showed up to start her shift and take over as my head nurse, something I am beyond grateful for. Renee was talking and the nurse, not Renee yet, asked if the two students could play the "let's all guess Heather's current dilation" game. After the epidural, pelvic exams were a breeze so I said go for it. I also didn't mind volunteering to be a catheter experience either. That nurse was grinning so wide after she got the size, but patiently left us in anticipation as the girls guessed five and "I think big because I can't feel the edge of the cervix". Oh, nine is big. I cried a single tear of joy and laughed. My time estimate was now within three hours. I am so glad my body wanted to over achieve eleven by three hours. I am so grateful I was so blessed by my heavenly father.

Renee quickly clocked in while I updated sisters and Facebook. I wanted to keep everyone informed. Second biggest day of my life, might as well give play by plays. After Renee became in charge she said something like, "we won't give birth to her but let's practice pushing." Tricky Renee was helping labor along. I opted for the mirror because Renee said once I see the head I could focus more. It's a curious sight. Personally, my birth didn't look as gross add the ones I've seen on TV. I actually liked being able to see, and I'm really impressed by my body. All this time I thought my body was a cute defect.

Epidural button time! I watched the clock and hit it every fifteen minutes. Did I mention I love epidurals? Anyways, pretty soon into pushing I see her petite little head and HAIR!! Don't ask me how I got that lucky. Renee even said alright we've given birth to one hair. Time ticked slower than it felt, but that's okay. The students were delighted to see an entire birth on one shift. One of the girls was sad she had to leave by seven thirty, but the other was determined to hold my limp leg until she saw my baby. Travis said this was when he felt most helpful. He got my other leg.

I told Travis' mom and two sisters they were welcome to stay till the baby was out. I did ask for no peeking below. I'm glad these rooms are big, but once the head was crowning I found myself yelling, "You can look! It's cool!" I never thought I'd be so unshy in my life. The minute my doctor walked in, after Renee had been down below for forty five minutes (skip ahead I'm gonna get gross), my bladder decided to spew his face. I did not know that could happen, but I found it mildly hilarious that it didn't happen the entire time Renee was helping me push and did seconds after my doc took a peek. He said he wished it were the first and last time to happen to him.

Once he turned the baby's shoulders a little real progress happened. Pushing was tough, but I will say contractions were much worse. Pushing wasn't so painful as it was difficult. I focused on this spot on my ugly hospital gown that looked like a woman's profile, and pushed like I was playing the oboe.

I didn't cry, mostly laughed joyfully, when I heard her first squeak. She was so beautiful, and after just barely crying she got silent and just looked at everyone aside her. I have such a great family. She recognized my voice, and I'm certain also recognized Travis and my mom. My mom had been talking to my belly since she arrived and it is obviously distinctive. Both our moms cried and the look on my darling husband's face was priceless. We got Brielle Rand Meredith's first debut on camera. Not the graphic stuff, just the touching moment after. (shortly after writing this I watched the video and somehow mom didn't notice she filmed my goods too. This will not be a video I show to anyone other than family that doesn't mind a lot of Heather)

She was so quiet I double checked with the professionals that she was in fact breathing and simply well behaved. I was so impressed with her hair and insisting everyone touch her.

I was so focused on her I still felt, but didn't focus, on my stitching up process. I know she's mine, but I wanna make sure she's good with everyone. No one really argues more than a polite, "Are you sure?" when you insist they play pass the baby. She even nursed well and it was so funny to see her om nom to get milk. Nursing feels kinda like a game.

So after all my wildest dreams coming true, realizing I love my mom and husband so much more now, and having an already great baby I feel at peace.

It is a true joy to see grandparents hold their first grandbaby, and my mom her first granddaughter, and how loved this girl already is by everyone she lays eyes on.

New mom,
-Heather Rand